I remember when I first wrote this for my blog. Initially the tone was pretty angry and I didn't actually realise how pissed off it made me till some one closer to me then they should be tried it or rather seemed to attempt it and I was powerless to do anything about it as the act apparently unfolded on the other side of the world which only made me more pissed off. I guess it was more of a vent then anything else. It didn't actually make it to this blog, mainly because I forgot my login details till now where I was reminded of them during sleep just before waking and re-writing this entry having also not previously saved it. Sure there's the usual saying of suicide being something of a cowards way out that comes to mind and to some degree I reckon its true, but in other ways its not depending on an individuals state of mind relating to their particular circumstances.

What I do know is that for most people attempts at suicide is often not the actual full intent to kill themselves which is textbook stuff. I also reckon its quite correct that for most its for want of attention or an indirect plea for help even if the person trying to do it doesn't even realise it in genuine cases. 

For all those that don't understand why, its to do with how the majority of people go about it. Many often indicate in some way that they are going to do it even often dropping indirect or even direct hints that they're going to do it. Many will also inform others before doing it. Which kind of begs the question why since if successful you're going to die anyway and people will eventually find out regardless. 

The point is most suicide victims dying is unnecessary and often they really don't want to die despite what they say and seemingly do that on the surface may seem like they want to. I'd even go so far as to say that the vast majority genuinely don't want to die. In most cases they die unnecessarily through what I see as an extreme plea for help or want of attention amidst confusion when there often doesn't seem like a solution when there are many with circumstance permitting. I'm also aware that circumstance is not always as permitting as it sometimes should and can be if needed.

When you know of someone who has actually died of a successful suicide attempt that you know was completely unnecessary based on the merits of the situation you don't want to be angry when you think about the fact that they sadly died unnecessarily amidst all the confusion and pain that they were going through in their head. But the fact is successful unintentional suicides leave a whole heap of unnecessary mess behind and are very selfish even though it may not seem it to the suicide victim before death. It basically leaves a whole bunch of people behind who will be scared and burnt from it for life stuck with if only's, why's and necessary or un-necessary guilt depending on your state on mind/standpoint. I'm inclined to believe for the most part unnecessary. i.e.. family and friends directly involved whether they want to be or not. 

I guess what would make it even worse is if you've tried nothing but your best to be nothing but accommodating and understanding for it to still happen.

People who do genuinely want to do it and have thought it out to the fullest extent will have realised there are things you can do to ensure there aren't any loose ends or at least as few as possible before they do it. I don't think it would be a appropriate for me to list them as I see it since those who genuinely have thought it through to the fullest extent would have figured them all out for themselves without having to be told. But keep in mind people often have trouble grieving those that they genuinely despise, don't care about or just don't know. You might want to work on that first. Originally I was that pissed off at the situation that I was going to write a full detailed guide on what they maybe should have done in order to do it in the least selfish way but then realised it would have only just made the situation less solvable which is partly the reason it was never included in the original post despite not even making it to posting.

The only valid suicide to my mind is when you're genuinely as close to being at peace with yourself as possible without any fear of doing it and your reasons go beyond any need for attention, validation from others or any sort of self affirmation or need of something from someone beyond your death. At which point its not hard to do at all. I think you may have gotten close if you got to a point where passing minutes didn't mean anything anymore and there was no sorrow, no hate, no anger, no  pain or even happiness in any overly euphoric drug induced sense because even that is a reason to stay whilst its happening to my mind. There is always something you can do. Even if its just trying to stop others from doing it that don't fully understand what it means when they say they want to do it or even go so far as to attempt it.

you should give the money to my wife, the picture on the cover is a picture I took of her while we were out in a club and she seemed pretty tired at the time (I'm not sure there's much she could do with a stubborn goat)

Additionally I'm not much of a believer in the bible despite having been put through a Roman Catholic education system from childhood right through to various colleges. But I still think there's a place for it where it helps people get through life. Essentially if its something that's being used in a way to help people that isn't actually hurting anyone I don't see what the issue is at all. I guess the fact that suicide was included within the notion of sin was done for the reason of acting as a deterrent when people were more readily willing to believe they'd burn forever in some kind of afterlife. Strangely in these modern times that still doesn't seem to put certain people off even when they do believe it. Personally I can't accept that, not in the slightest. How would a priest that has done nothing but devote his life to the bible and peacefully helping others come to terms with such a notion if his own son were to successfully die (most likely unintentionally) of an attempted suicide? Was God (the guy who supposedly see's all whilst looking like a beardy Zeus type figure sat in the clouds of Gulliver proportions) a bit bored that day or just so knackered in his all seeingness (in the supernatural sense beyond any limitations of a human beings capacity to try and emulate it with today's technology) that he missed something like that? Or was he just having a laugh? You'll have to excuse me for being Satan here in trying to help people function in a life that should be worth living for most, but even in this day and age I guess it would be just as easy to say it was Satan that caused the sons death in this case too for the sake of simplistic concepts in a far more complicated world.

Eksovichea Tito Hak.